Lost Control
by autumn145
Summary: One Shot RLHG


**I revised this a bit. A lot is still the same. I gave you all a bit more information though...now that I've read the 7th book I hope you like it!**

**The song is "My Black Dahlia" by Hollywood Undead. I felt it suited the situation very well.**

**Let me know what you think! **

**Thanks!**

**Autumn**

**Xoxoxoxo**

**:+:Lost Control:+:**

**a**

**FanFiction**

**by **

**AUTUMN145**

"Get out." He whispered into the cold darkness, thick with the tension radiating off of their bodies. "Please. Just leave."

He felt…numb. The pain and anger and frustration at having his life wrenched away from him, his heart ripped viciously from his chest, leaving him to bleed to death.

He remembered all of the promises, all the whispered words of love and her undying devotion. It had all been fake...nothing but an illusion. An act.

"Remus," she breathed, walking up behind him. Her scent of lavender and warm vanilla overwhelmed him. She tried to wrap her arms around him, but he harshly pushed her away.

"I. Said. Get. Out!" he growled.

_**I loved you, you made me, hate me. You gave me, hate, see?. It saved me and these tears are deadly. You feel that? I rip back, everytime you tried to steal that. You feel bad? You feel sad? I'm sorry, hell no fuck that! It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife. This strife it dies, this life and these lies. And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I hurt too, remember I loved you!**_

"Please, listen to me," she sobbed. "You know I love you. You've known for years,"

He turned to her, and looked at her in disgusted disbelief.

"Oh," he laughed bitterly. "You love me, do you? Give me a fucking break," He spat. The wolf was struggling to free itsel;. It wanted to rip her throat out, to taste the warm blood that ran through the veins in her long, smooth neck. "You _never_ loved me. You don't understand love,"

He thought back to that night when he had been teaching, and she had snuck into his room, wearing nothing under her red silk robes, and how her smooth skin had glistened in the candlelight, how she had been the first woman in all his years of life to ever really make love to him. The first one who hadn't been just a fuck.

How she had been entranced by the scars that were scattered over his body.

How she had whispered confessions of love into his ear as he took her innocence, making her cry out in pain and pleasure. The way those beautiful brown eyes had glittered up at him and how her soft, delicious lips had tasted.

**+FLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACK+**

After Harry had finally defeated Voldemort, with the help of the Order, Minerva had been short two staff members. Remus, however reluctantly, had agreed to fill in for the remainder of the school year. Tonks was dead...she had died in battle, by the hand of her cousin, Bellatrix. Different feelings had flooded his heart when he saw her fall; disbelief, pity, anger, and...relief.

He had been sleeping with her for the past few months...she was devastated after Sirius's death. Then Dumbledores. Then Mad-Eye's. Then, her father, Ted. She had been a wreck, and had practically begged for his affections...how could he deny a young, crying girl?

"No strings, Remus," she'd said. "Just...be with me. I need to have someone with me tonight. I can't...I can't deal with the dreams...not by myself," and he'd stayed with her from then on. Then, when he was finally beginning to feel that maybe he was ready to give her a real chance, she'd come to him, crying again, and this time, it was his nightmare.

She was pregnant.

But she'd been killed. By Bellatrix, who'd then killed Fred Weasley. Then Molly had killed Bellatrix. Then, after a few more deaths, things flew by in a blur of tears and numbness, empty lessons, and then, by miracle, the return of his friend, Sirius. No one had been able to explain it...not even Sirius himself. Had he returned from death, or had he simply been missing for the last few years? No one knew. No one questioned it. Everyone only wanted one thing, and that did not include more drama. All they wanted was a bit of peace...some quiet after the storm had passed.

Harry had proposed to Ginny; they were to be married as soon as she turned seventeen, a match that made many girls bitter.

A girl named Lavender Brown seduced Ron.

Ron and Hermione split up.

Remus becan to notice that Hermione had _grown _up.

She'd began to notice him noticing her. They'd flirt. He dreamt of her. She'd confessed that she'd dreamt of him. He began to falter whenever she was around. He was scared of his attraction to her. She was too young. Nymphadora had been too young. It wasn't right.

And so he told her, when he'd kissed her under a mistletoe on Christmas. She'd simply looked at him, her face blank, but eyes smoldering.

She'd not said a word to him that was unprofessional, or that was not related to Harry or Sirius. Untill the night before her graduation.

"Remus," he'd woken to her soft, slightly husky whisper. Candles were lit around his room, and once again, her expression betraying nothing, and her eyes everything.

"What-?" he'd began, but she pressed her fingers to his lips to silence him.

"Don't talk," she whispered. "You'll ruin it."

He lifted the covers, and she let her crimson robe slip from her shoulders.

**+FLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACKFLASHBACK+**

He had given up so much for her, his career as a teacher, his best friends' son. He had broken hearts, killed for her, put his life and everything he owned on the line for her. He had loved her so much, so freely; he would have done anything, given her anything. He would have given her the world had he been able to. He would have willingly sacrificed himself for her.

She had been the first lover he had ever had who had accepted him, lycanthropy and all. She had accepted his scars, his pain. She had accepted the fact that he would never be able to shower her with the expensive possessions and gifts that others could have.

All he had to offer her was the broken shell of a man he had once been and his heart. She had taken him and his despair, his strife, his pain.

She had promised him that she loved him, that she would never hurt him.

…she had lied.

_**I wish I could I could have quit you. I wish I never missed you, and told you that I loved you, every time I Fucked you. The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through. Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew!**_

He had changed everything he could for her. He had let so many of his friends be killed by the death eaters in the war, not caring, as long as she was safe, as long as he could have her in his bed at night. As long as he could feel her smooth, creamy skin under his hands, under his body. As long as he could hear her voice, as smooth, seductive, and reassuring as chocolate.

"Remus! Stop! I love you!" she screamed as he pushed her against the wall. He was losing control.

How could she?

How dare she?

How fucking _dare_ she?

"You love me? Then why do I find you fucking my best friend when I am about to turn? You knew it was a full moon, Hermione! You knew! How could you not? I walked in, I saw you with him, and I heard him laugh! How long, Hermione? How long has this been going on?" he demanded, shaking her roughly.

"A few months! I'm sorry!" she cried, tears falling from her chocolate eyes. For the first time, a woman's tears had absolutely no effect on him.

"When the fuck were you planning on telling me?" he screamed back. "How long were you planning on screwing Sirius every full moon?" he growled. She whimpered.

He leaned in close to her. "Tell me," he whispered. "Was it the risk of it that seduced you? Did it excite you, knowing I was just in the other room? Did you scream his name, knowing I couldn't hear? Did you come for him, Hermione? Could he make you feel the way I can?"

She muttered something unintelligible. "What?" he demanded.

"No," she whispered.

"Then _why_? Why _him_?"

She stared at him, fear in her eyes, but she remained defiant.

"Were you fucking Slughorn as well? Is that how you got such good scores on all your N.E.W.T.'s? I know why I gave you the highest marks…you've got quite a talented little mouth, Hermione," he breathed. She remained silent. "Or how about Arthur, I know he's always found you attractive. Perhaps you were fooling around with Kingsley?Answer me."

"Only you," she whispered.

_**How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you, it never was enough and the world is what I gave to you. I used to be love struck, now I'm just fucked up.**_

**THE NEXT DAY,** Remus looked down at the dried blood on his hands and he fell to the floor in a crumpled heap, while sobs racked his aching body.

He had lost control.

Moony had won.

He reached inside his blood stained robes and pulled out his wand.

He snapped it in half.

He stood and walked to the nightstand beside his bed, and opened the drawer. Inside it was a tool muggles used to defend and kill. A gun.

He reached for the gun. He picked it up.

The cool metal of the contraption was heavy in his hand.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………...

A wave of naseau hit Sirius as soon as he walked into the house.

"Remus?" he called.

Silence.

"Hermione?" he called. He walked through the kitchen, into the hall.

He could smell blood.

Something was wrong.

Without hesitation he bolted up the stairs, and ran to the end of the hall, where Remus's room was.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Remus signed the note he knew Sirius would eventually find. He picked up the gun, loaded with one silver bullet. He lay down next to Hermione's lifeless, mutilated body. He put the gun to his head.

_**How could you do this to me? Look at what I made for you, it never was enough and the world is what I gave to you. I used to be love struck, now I'm just fucked up.**_

………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Heart pounding in his chest, Sirius turned the handle of the master bedroom, and walked in.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………...

_**Seems like all we had is over now you left to rest. and your tears are dried up now, you just lay without a sound. Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest. And my fears are over now, I can leave with my head down.**_

A single tear rolled down his cheek.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Sirius's heart stopped.

"Oh my God, Re-"

……………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Remus pulled the trigger.

**THE END **

**I know, I know. I usually hate endings like this. I'm sorry Leave me a review and let me know what you thought of it. I appreciate any feedback you might have, good or bad. Constructive critisism, perhaps? Thanks!!!!**


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